Your mouth is God's brothel.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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