lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
