tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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