So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
