i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
