Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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