Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
