I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
