Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize