what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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