please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
