Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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