You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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