i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
