It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
