These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
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Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
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NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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