Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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