FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
