My first STD was from a foam party
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
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It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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