ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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