please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize