No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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