I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
