i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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