Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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