sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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