So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
