i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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