honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
