"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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