No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
