the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
