This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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