Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
