yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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