Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
