mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he thought i was a dude.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
