some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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