I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
