Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
