but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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