I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize