U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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