Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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