The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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