We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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