The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize