i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
