He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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