Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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