i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
