Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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