Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
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He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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