I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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