Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Boobs are out for the taking
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
