then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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