After last night, I could never be a politician.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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