So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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