So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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