Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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