Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He better not be in your backpack
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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